In hiding...

Oh good grief, I'm terrible at writing on this thing these days.  I think about it all the time.  I love to write, to journal, to vent...and, in the past, this has been a good place to get all of that done in one place.  But lately, I've been a bit in hiding.  I have what could be my final comp exam coming up soon--it WILL be my final exam (yes, the last exam I will ever have to take) IF I pass it.  I'm sweating bullets thinking about it...ahh, stress...

But right now, I'm saturated with studying so I'm looking for things to do to keep my mind OFF the anxiety of the pending exam weekend--yes, weekend--it's 3 full days of test-taking. Ugh!

I have so much to write about...K started kindergarten, Sampson has had more "issues," I had an amazing week at the beach, I turned 31...

I'm stuck on that one right now.  I'm 31.  I feel like I should maybe be a little more successful, done with school, more financially stable.  But, I'm "just" a part-time college instructor/graduate teaching associate, I'm STILL in school, and I feel like a dog chasing its tail with money--largely due to the HUGE economic burdens of graduate school WITH a family.  But, I am where I am.  And I love where I am, if I don't think about the student loan debt.  :)  So, I missed my favorite link-up for the past few weeks with "Goodnight Moon" so I am playing my birthday song today (a couple weeks after the birthday itself) to remind me that I need to enjoy this "ride." 

'Round about my 24th birthday, Buzz got me the License to Chill CD (back when we bought CDs, not just bought music on iTunes).  "Trip around the Sun" was my instant favorite, as the first line is "So I'm singin' happy birthday..."  And, as the song says, this year gone by ain't been a piece of cake.  But neither is any year.  We are all lucky to have time to sit back (or sit up at the computer and have the opportunity to be in grad school, even if it means student loan debt too-long exams) and enjoy our trips around the sun.  One of my favorite parts of the song says "I'm just hanging on, while this ol' world keeps spinning.  And it's good to know it's out of my control.  If there's one thing that I've learned from all this living, is that it wouldn't change a thing if I let go."

I'm not planning on letting go--I'm fighting through exams, a dissertation, a sick dog, motherhood, military wife-life, and all that goes with it.  But, sometimes it is good to sit back and put things in perspective.  I'm not saying I won't have a major breakdown if I fail this exam--but the world will keep spinning if I do, or if I don't.  So, I'm working on enjoying the ride right now...and being thankful that I am in a place to pursue my dreams with my favorite people (and dogs) on earth, even if it comes with the ups and downs of success AND stress.

Nothing remains quite the same...

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~Nelson Mandela

Soooooo, I'm here at this blog that has sat dormant for almost a year. I didn't fall off the face of the earth. But I have fallen deeper into PhD-school-world. It's a little dark in here. In all honesty, I have thought about blogging a hundred times in the past year but I didn't see the point since very few people ever came here anyway. :) But now I am realizing that this might be therapeutic for ME. Sometimes it's good to write something other than a research paper and take a moment to reflect on awesomeness, like being a mom, or funny stuff, like being a mom in the middle of all of my other life roles. So, here I am...probably just for me but that's okay!

Here's the past year in a nutshell--my baby turned 4, my family went on our first trip to Disney World--and our second, Sampson started acupuncture treatments (it works) and became a vegetarian (he's also seeing another specialist--in nutrition), I turned 30, I traveled all over the east coast for fun and work, I passed my first comprehensive exam while my husband was in Africa, oh yeah-my husband went to Africa and Norway, my family went to a Jimmy Buffett concert (I got mean mugs for having a 4-year-old there), my dad had a heart attack (while my husband was in Norway) and bypass surgery (luckily my husband got home for that--and my dad's heart is doing well), I started work on my dissertation (which included spending time in a prison), I am preparing for two more comp exams and am in my last semester of classes (as long as I PASS said exams), my baby got her ears pierced (today) and we are planning my baby's 5th birthday. Through all of this I have learned the most important steps day-to-day in Beth-world are as follows: Take a deep breath--focus on what's in your control and roll with it--try to accept what you can't control and work on letting it go--have faith in others--believe in new beginnings--hug your daughter--hug her again--Take another deep breath...repeat.

What's next? More school, dog, mommy, and military wife stories...for whoever may visit me here. I'll try to be witty, but no promises. ;)

Right now, the reason that I am on this blog in the first place, is because I signed into my account to leave a post on another blog which I found through a Facebook post of another friend. Here's the link...

Happy Birthday, Sampson!

Today is Sam-the-Man's 7th birthday. Like I have said many times before, he has been with me through SO many changes and ups and downs in my life. Over this past year, I have really been concerned as to whether or not he would make it to this day. I am so thankful he did. People who don't have pets still continue to think I am crazy and ask me why or how I do it. I don't have an answer I can put into words...all I can say is that is long as we are able and he is still fighting, I don't think I have another choice. It's been a long, expensive journey but I am glad we have pulled through. I have no doubt that the journey ahead of us will hold many new challenges (I am speaking about him AND me) but I hope HE will be there to help pull ME through life's ups and downs for many more years to come. I am thankful for every happy, healthy day he gives us. I know today is a milestone we are celebrating. I hope the road ahead IS long, though I do hope it is at least relatively less expensive! Nothing makes me smile quite like the Sampson kidney bean dance. :)