A Day in the Life: Family Portraits

My daughter LOVES arts and crafts.  She does them all the time and asks me to join in.  I do--just not as much as I should.  It's fun.  It's an awesome break from whatever I'm working on in terms of school/work.  She doesn't even care that I am the least artistic person on the face of the planet.

I nurture her creativity.  It is beautiful in all aspects of the word.  I have decorated her room with her canvas art.  Our dining room has been transformed into an art room.  I figure it's those little things I can do to help her embrace something that she loves so much.

One of her favorite things to draw is our family.  That makes me so happy.  I believe you can tell a lot about what kids think by looking at their artwork and watching them play.  I am so thankful that she views our family as close-knit and full of smiles.  She often draws us holding hands and with hearts around us. Though all of the ups and downs the Marine Corps has taken us through and all of the separations, I'm so glad that we have come out ahead.  Not to mention, it's not as if my husband and I are sweet and happy with each other ALL the time, so I am glad that she sees the good stuff always shining through.  :)  And it warms my heart to see our family so full of love through HER eyes. 

So, today, I am sharing some of her more recent artwork of our family.  I love how she personalizes everything, even as she is just learning to write.  She likes to write our names--and she refers to my husband as "Buzz" though lately she has taken it upon herself to introduce him to others with his real name, even though everyone calls him Buzz.  Anyway, she always colors me in purple (my favorite color), Buzz in orange (his favorite color), and herself in pink (her FAVORITE color).  She also always draws high heels on the girls.  She also recently received a card where a friend drew a shooting star--so now she really likes shooting stars in her work as well.  I suppose like any great artist, she must go through stages and phases.  :)

Welcome to arts and crafts!

Here is our family portrait (note us holding hands and the hearts in between):

This is a picture of me:

And here is Buzz:

And here is my little artist at work.  :)



The only thing that stays the same? Everything changes.

It's amazing how simple things bring back such strong feelings and emotions.  I went to the grocery store (and restocked my TP and paper towel shelves, by the way) and had a minor flashback.  I can't believe how different things are on this b-billet.  Buzz is home considerably more--he hasn't been gone for more than 6 weeks at a time.  That's a completely different life than our time at Lejeune.  In Kroger today, I thought back to Buzz's first deployment after we were married.  I had a one year old at home, was very new to the area, and pretty much freaking out but trying to hold it together.  On one of my first trips to the commissary after he left, I was walking through the soft drink aisle.  Back in those days, Buzz had some serious issues with Coke (as in CocaCola)--he could drink 10 cans a day sometimes.  It was insane.  Anyway, I always complained about buying those stupid 12 packs--they were expensive and I hated picking up the cans.  But on that day, walking through that aisle, I made the realization that for seven months I would not by Coke nor would I pick up an empty can.  I froze in the middle of the aisle with tears rolling down my face.  I had to get it together and get out of there, but that was the first time the reality of what was happening to me slapped me silly.

(This is Buzz expressing his love for said product at Disney World last year.)

I survived that deployment, and another--and so did he.  Five days after he returned from his last deployment, we moved here...to where deployments are a distant memory.  But I still have those moments where I can still feel those feelings.  It's not something you forget--the loneliness, the sadness, the fear.  And I dread the fact that next year, we will be leaving our little bubble and going back into that world.  I don't miss it.  I miss my friends and the support.  I miss the commissary because civilian store prices are outrageous!  But I don't miss much else.  I always joke that I have PTSD from those deployments.  I hated every second of them.

But I try to keep a positive outlook.  I said TRY--and I do it much better now looking BACK than I do in that moment.  But I do see this as one way that military families have an advantage (if you want to call it that).  Sometimes, when I am really annoyed or irritated or picking up dirty socks that never found their way to the laundry basket AGAIN, I take a step back and remember how I feel when I don't have those annoyances in my life.  It means my husband is not in my life on a daily basis.  And it sucks. 

So for now, I stroll through the expensive grocery store aisles knowing that I have someone else with me at the dinner table, that my daughter has her daddy to play UNO with, that I am not alone...and I am thankful.

The Grocery List

I am so overly behind with about every single one of my home chores and just about all of my schoolwork this week.  My husband had been out of town with his other true love (The Marine Corps) and my daughter has been sick.  Things are all off--not that we have a "normal" around here but I just feel out of sorts.  Anyway, at the top of the list of things to do is go to the grocery store...we are out of everything and have been eating out every meal since Monday, I think.  (NOT good for the bank account or for health reasons but whatever...)

So, I am preparing to grocery shop.  I hate going to the grocery store.  It's right up there with putting gas in the car of things that I have to do on a regular basis, aren't that big of a deal, but that I just can't stand.  And so the list begins.  You know, the grocery list that you try to stick to but you always end up buying more and forgetting one or two of the most important things on the list...so you spend more money than you want and STILL have to go back.  [sigh]

I'm all about trying to save money.  I'm cheap, yet somehow we still never seem to have extra money.  I don't mind buying what we call "the bo-bo brand" (i.e. the store brand) of things, but there are some things that I buy where I MUST have the real-deal, expensive name brand.  Top among these are aluminum foil (it HAS to be Reynolds Wrap).  I just can't seem to deal with the bo-bo brands of aluminum foil--they rip too easily and aren't strong enough.  I also must have Silk soy milk--my daughter won't drink anything else.  I am starting to gravitate away from the bo-bo brand of paper towels, too.  Speaking of paper towels, I have another issue with grocery shopping...

I have a small fear of running out of 3 things:  paper towels, toilet paper, and light bulbs.  A light bulb just blew in our living room and I went out to our cold garage to the storage shelves where I keep a healthy stock of reserves of these items and HOLY CRAP, I'm running low!  We are down to our last roll of paper towels on reserve.  And, if you'll take a quick journey into that garage with me...

I am down to my last jumbo pack of TP...and it's OPEN!!!  Not only that, look...

The light bulb boxes are emptying out!  Oh, back to the grocery list--there are necessities that need to be on there!

I get it, I'm really not running that low.  I'm not sure where these irrational worries come from.  They are not major worries that consume my days, but when I recognize this ever-so-minor emergency is on my hands, I must take action.  These shelves must be filled again with their appropriate goods.

So, I'm wondering if anyone else has any of these random grocery shopping pet peeves?  Are there other must-have-name-brand goods where the bo-bo brands just won't do?  Am I the only one who feels the need to stockpile light bulbs, TP, and paper towels...or other random things?

Happy almost weekend!



The Marine Corps helped raise me, too!

I should be working on papers, reading, analyzing data, or studying now. But instead, I'm getting a jumpstart on the link-up with Goodnight Moon . This song (This Side by Nickel Creek) has been my "theme song" for life in the Marine Corps from the very beginning of my military wife life. I've included a *detailed* timeline for how this song fits into my soundtrack below. Hope you enjoy!

>1995 (9th grade)--My Dad buys our first DVD player. It plays CDs, too. (This is important and will resurface again.)

>1996 (10th grade)--I start dating the "boy" who will one day be my husband.

>1997 (Summer before my senior year)--My "boyfriend" joins the Marine Corps.

(late 1998-mid 2002...my "boyfriend" and I break up as he is stationed in California, I am in college in Virginia, and that doesn't really fly when you're 18).

>Jump to 2001ish--I discover Nickel Creek, thanks to my dad (who just happens to be the best musician on the planet. He taught me to love music and appreciate it. Music has always been a HUGE part of my life and I often see the world through the sounds of music, but I digress...).

>2002--My old boyfriend and I reunite when he comes home after his deployment to Afghanistan, which started out as a "simple" MEU float. Then, September 11 "happened" and they diverted (for lack of a better phrase). We date, get engaged, and get married rather quickly.
---December 22--Wedding.
---December 26--A young girl from Southwestern VA (that would be me) who only "went away" to college in the next city over moves away from everything she has ever known to Rhode Island. This was my first time away from home for more than a week or two, and my first taste of military life. I was welcomed with open arms, but I was very, very scared, sad, and homesick. Oh, and that "ancient" DVD player from 1995...my dad gave it to us.

>Last days of 2002--My husband and I hook up the old DVD player. A Nickel Creek CD is in it--"This Side" was on that CD. We begin listening to it ALL the time.

---My husband always told me, especially through my anxiety and nervousness about entering my new life, that nothing good could ever happen unless you take a little risk and step out of your comfort zone. This new life as a military wife was WAY out of my comfort zone. During those first few months of my new life, I met many new people, experienced many new things, and started to change...the Marine Corps and the life it provided for me was changing me in ways I didn't know possible. This song was literally in the background of many of those adventures. (My husband told me to think of my new life in the military as an adventure. I didn't have to try hard to see it as such--it IS an adventure.) The words are so meaningful to me. I molded into a girl who you can take or leave--I'm still the same, even though I've become a bigger person. Military life, I believe, brought out the person I am meant to be but who was hiding deep down under my "old" life.

---The main way this song speaks to me is that it starts out by saying "There's no place to hide and I'm nothing but scared." This is exactly the way I felt in this new life of mine. But, as the song progresses, those words change to "There's no place to hide and I don't think I'm scared." This is my new outlook. I have jumped out of that small-town-girl-mold into someone who's not scared to meet this adventure head on!

---This song also speaks to a new way of thinking. The line "Climb up the slide and then slide down the stairs" also speaks to my new perspective on life. Sometimes, the unconventional route brings new joys, even if there are some challenges and risks along the way.

>Jump to 2011--I can't believe I used to think like that girl who was scared to leave her hometown! This song remains part of my soundtrack and has been one of the most important songs in my life. What I consider to be my motto (and what I have to sometimes remind myself when I start to curl back up in that shell of taking the easy road) is such a powerful line from this fun song..."Only the curious have something to find."

Semper Fi to all of my Semper FABULOUS military friends, I mean FAMILY. :)

(That's my "boyfriend" and me before the Marine Corps Ball, 2010)

My Old Man

"Dogs' lives are too short--their only fault, really." -Agnes Sligh Turnbull

I used to only write about my dogs. Then, my life took a turn better known as PhD school and I got a little sidetracked. So, I would like to take a few moments to RE-recognize my best friend with four legs...My Old Man, Sampson.

Sampson came into my life in May of 2002. After graduating college, I got a wild hair to get a dog. And it HAD to be a boxer. I got the pick of the litter and I brought him home over Memorial Day weekend of that year. He fit in the palm of my hand. And so began our love affair.

In the early days, the old man was the puppy. He chewed everything from clothes (he had a special interest in my bras from the dirty clothes), door and window frames (in my first home after being married--good thing they were remodeling base housing that year or we would have been slapped with a BIG fee), and rubber balls from Petsmart (a 99 cent ball turned into a $1000 endoscopic surgery to remove said ball). He was social (he went to doggie daycare every weekday when I worked full-time before I got married) and friendly. He kidney bean danced and stole my pillows and covers at night. It was a match made in dreamland...and then the illness came. Even with his problems, he has always known how to party.

It wasn't until 2009 that we finally broke down and had exploratory surgery to find out what was going on. He has inflammatory bowel disease. It has been a long journey through that as well as the arthritis in his spine that is pretty much fused together. We have been creative with our treatment. Acupuncture and diet change has helped immensely.

Throughout our time together, he has been my comfort, ear to listen, and shoulder to cry on through deployments, various other military separations, pregnancy, birth, two rounds of graduate school, and every part of life in between. He has been a great friend. He's gained and lost one sister (our Angel-girl), gained another sister (Daisy Duke, AKA Daisy the Crazy) and has followed me through five states. Next month, God-willing, the old man will turn 9. In dog years, that's more than I want to talk about, especially for a boxer with lots of health problems. Luckily, our unconventional medical treatment has brought back some kidney bean dancing and playfulness that remind me of his puppy days.

I often joke (sort of) with my husband that Sampson is my true love. But who else could love so unconditionally?!? One of my favorite quotes is "My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dogs already think I am." What human could be there through all of life's ups and downs and give you a kidney bean dance and a big, sloppy kiss to cheer you up on the even the worst of days? He's licked my tears. He's danced in happiness with me after a deployment or after a rough week. He really is the epitome of a best friend. Despite the financial burdens he has brought us, I feel blessed that he is MINE. And I'm glad he is mine because a man with all that love deserves a family that will nurture him--bad tummy and all. He's worth it. So, here's to Sampson--my old man. And here's to hoping he will live (happily and pain-free) to be the oldest boxer on the planet. I will continue to cherish all of the moments that he is here on earth with my family and me. And I am thankful for all that he has brought to my life from puppy that fit in my hands, to a gray-faced, sleepy old man.

Good deeds gone awkward--a follow up

So, if you scroll down and take a look at my attempt to "pay it forward" a while ago, you will know that I can be the queen of social awkwardness. (No, being a sociologist does not help me fit in any better in social situations. NERD ALERT!) Anyway, the men who I attempted to pay it forward to have appeared in my life again.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and one of his Marine friends grabbed a quick lunch at another restaurant on the UT strip. My husband and his friend (on their own) brought up my pay it forward adventure--and laughed at me, of course. Towards the end of our meal, who walks in??? The men whose breakfast I paid for at Panera during my botched good deed attempt. Oh the irony! So, I relived that little adventure, complete with heart palpitations, and went on with my day.

Fast forward to Tuesday (2 days ago). Buzz and I stop in that same restaurant for an even quicker lunch. And who sits down a couple tables over? Yep--those guys.

I am a little superstitious (not exactly the word I am looking for here but it will do) and I tend to think that things really do happen for a reason. So, why do these men keep appearing in my life? Especially since I am still dwelling on a 2 minute encounter that happened months ago? And my brain goes into overdrive... I feel like I HAVE to say something to them this time.

And, again, there I go with the heart palpitations, complete with sweaty palms. My husband even said if I didn't do it he was going to go introduce me. He puts my social awkwardness to shame--but he doesn't care. Plus, he kept saying it wasn't them. So, the pressure was on...

I walked over and introduced myself and told the outdoorsy man that he looked familiar and I think I met him on "Pay it Forward Day." He laughed and introduced himself and the gentleman with him. I told him how I felt so silly and he told me not to feel bad that it was a very nice gesture that meant a lot to him. He said he told some people about it and it was special. He told me it was even more special that I approached him in that context. We made small-talk for a few minutes, I walked back to my table, smiled and waved as my new friend refilled his drink and then I went about my day.

I guess that my social awkwardness isn't ALWAYS as bad to others as it seems to me. Or, even if it is, I guess it's not offensive. I have come to terms with just being "that girl" sometimes, more often than I would like or care to admit--the one whose heart takes over her brain function sometimes and makes a fool of herself in attempts to be kind. I guess being a big dork is just part of my "charm." :)

I think the most important thing I have learned is not to try to silence that crazy voice inside me that tells me to do nice things, even if they don't always turn out the way I envision them in my mind. Sometimes, a little smile, handshake,or gesture has the possibility to make someone's day, or at least make that minute a little brighter--and maybe an awkward payment of kindness can really have a positive impact on someone. And the fact that these might be small bright spots in others' lives makes them no less valuable.

On that note, when I walked into my parents house today after a 4 hour drive for a weekend visit, I saw a longer version of the quote below printed out sitting on the counter. Coincidence? Not in my mind.

"From the standpoint of daily life...there is one thing we do know: That man is here for the sake of other men--above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received." -Albert Einstein

They grow up all too soon...

Today, I am doing a link up with the blog Goodnight Moon at http://www.goodnight-moon.org/. We are choosing a song that speaks to us this week. Since my little lady turned 5 this week, the same week that my best friend gave birth to her first baby boy, I have been thinking about how time flies and how important it is to cherish those moments when they are so "new." In honor of that, "Let them be little" by Billy Dean is my song of the week.