I am on my way out-of-town (again) for more dissertation research--which is another post (or 10) for another time. But, the hotel where we stay has a very slow Internet connection, so I am going to try and get my song for the link up with Goodnight Moon up and running so I just need to link from the hotel. I'm also linking up for the first time with Things I Can't Say for "Pour Your Heart Out" (which, by the way, I can't wait to do again). Luckily, this post fits with both link ups this week--so I'm going to double-dip (hope that's okay) since I am so busy with work right now. So, here it is...
(The video is a must-watch! Great song with a great video message!)
My husband and I "communicate" through music while he is deployed. He sends me CDs with playlists he's made for me and I send him songs on the computer. He shared this song with me during his first deployment. (I could write a BOOK on the meaning of this song to HIM, but that's not my point here.)
As I continue down this tough, often frustrating journey of PhD school alongside everything else I am attempting do to do "well," I find myself taking on A LOT. My first and foremost goal in my life is to be a good mom--which also includes being a good wife. And this crazy decision to go back to school is related to that first goal...My goal with pursuing my chosen career path is twofold. I LOVE teaching and think that having a job teaching at a higher level will make me happier and, thus a better mom. But the research aspect is of importance, too. There is so much sadness and suffering in the world that is really unnecessary. Through my research, I hope to make a difference. I know any difference I am lucky enough to make will be a small one. But changing one life is an important change. I want to help--I want to help give a voice to those who ordinarily don't have that luxury and I also want to help open opportunities for them. As I have mentioned before, so much of my work is depressing. I am working to bring POSITIVE RESULTS to a field where much of what we read and hear about is negative. It's a tough process. One of my favorite quotes comes from a sociologist/theorist:
“…the evident genius of the human spirit lies in the hard fact of life that we, like our dogs…[are] limited in all the important ways… We cannot do all that our powerful minds trick us into thinking we can. In a word, this is the mystery of being human. Our finest nature is not our ability to think and do. It is that we do and think as we do in spite of the obstacles…On average, the better ones among us continue to think and do what they can with no assurance that solutions will be found.” --Charles Lemert
This is my life. I'm working to be one of "the better ones among us." I can't be sure (or even confident sometimes) that I am going to be a part of any meaningful solution to bring real change to better even a small portion of the world. It sucks...sometimes it sucks more than other times. I'm limited, but I don't think these are valid excuses NOT to keep trying.
I used to want to change the whole world. But, as this song recognizes, that's truly more than I can handle. (And it drives me crazy just to think about it, so trying to work toward an unrealistic goal is a little insane.) So, I'm attempting to use my skills, strengths, lucky opportunities, and blessed circumstances to reach beyond myself...and try to bring my share.