Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Academic and The Marine

I'm linking up again with

First of all, did not have this song, so I had to rely on YouTube again.  :) 

I heard this song (on my iPod) a couple of weeks ago while traveling and I hadn't heard it in a LONG time. 

Buzz's and my life TOGETHER has still been lived largely separately.  His career drives him to places I can't go and takes him through experiences I will never understand.  I had hoped I would be able to slip into a role where I was able to completely devote myself to his life--to absorbing myself in his life with his chosen career path.  I couldn't do it.  I tried, but I just couldn't do it.  It's not me. 

I was still so desperate to define myself individually, beyond his career.  I need that part of me--to be a good wife and mother--I need to be able to still work for goals that separate me from him.  This has no bearing on my love for him.  He is "the one" for me--but I must still be true to myself somehow.  It's been a difficult journey thus far.  It's not easy to make a decision to pursue something that only about 1% of the population tackles--a doctorate degree--especially when your husband's job is so demanding and you have the #1 responsibility to a child and your family.  But I knew it was something I needed to do for me, and for us.  It's challenging in every definition of the word, but mostly because even during the time that Buzz has to devote himself solely to our family, I am often still swamped with additional responsibilities.  Our schedules do not always allow for a substantial amount of "downtime" for both of us at the same time. 

Military marriages and academic marriages fail at higher rates than that of the general population.  I can see why.  So, putting these two "at risk" categories together was bound to bring tough times.  But, for us, it works--and it's doing nothing but making us stronger individually, as a couple, and as a family.  It's unconventional.  We are often following our own paths, but (as my FAVORITE part of this song says):

"Every now and then, he offers her a shoulder.  And every now and then she overflows.  And every now and then, a bridge crosses over.  It's a moment that every lover knows."

Thank God for bridges.


  1. What a great post! You have summed up what a lot of military spouses feel. We all do need to find some kind of outlet for ourselves, whether its a job, craft, hobby...whatever it maybe.

    What a great song to go along with your post this week! Thanks so much for sharing and putting this into words.

  2. Gotta love when a song fits so well to what our hearts feel!

    Thanks for stopping by for PYHO!