"The best portion of a good man's life - his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love." ~William Wordsworth
Why are people so mean? And why can't I just shake it off? WHY? This past week I have felt the meanness from a variety of sources. Some mean encounters are worse than others--I think there is a mean encounter spectrum that goes from mildly annoying and hurtful to completely devastating. Some of these recent encounters have come from people I am close to, yet continue to get the vibe that they think they are better than me. These are merely annoying and hurt only mildly because I know they still love me. Some come from acquaintances who think their knowledge is far superior to my own. These don't really hurt but make me wonder why they would even open their mouths. Did their mothers not teach them if they can't say something nice to not say anything at all? Some come from complete strangers who mistake my identity for a fellow mean person (despite my attempts to prove the opposite) and ruin way more of my time than I should ever allow them to.
I truly try to live my life to be the nicest person I can be--to everyone with whom I come into contact. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that everyone deserves some kindness and a smile--at least until they give you a reason to act otherwise.
Apparently there are lots of people who do not share my feelings. There are people out there who pride themselves on being jerkfaces and/or act like they have something to prove with their mean actions. I guess there are people out there who lack empathy, compassion, and human kindness. They seem to think that their evil exterior is attractive--or maybe they have something deep inside they are trying to hide. Or maybe they don't know they are being mean (doubt it) or maybe they have just never been taught how to act. I don't know what it is. But lately I have been feeling very tested in my kind-heartedness. I am appalled at the ways a stranger--a mean person--can push you down so far. I am horrified at how others who may or may not know the real me can judge me so harshly. I am sickened by the ways that chance encounters with mean people can throw an individual, full force, into undesirable situations that they have always been able to avoid because they think before they act and try to be a bigger person.
So what do I do? I suppose I need to work on keeping my chin up and not let a few negative experiences overshadow the kindness and awesomeness that generally shines on my life. I suppose I need to be the one to stop the insanity in my head of letting mean people bring me down. I suppose leading by example is the best way to run with this--by practicing the Golden Rule. And I will remind myself, and anyone else who ventures to read this rambling incoherent mess (rambling and incoherent because I'm at a loss for words because I am so unfamiliar with the insanity of being mean just for the sake of it), that a smile doesn't cost anything. Usually kindness is contagious but I am learning more and more that some people are just immune. That doesn't negate its strength. So, I will just hope the best for those mean people and turn the other cheek (now that I have gotten it out here). I guess the best way to get over it is to know that they can't beat me or get me down--and not let the mean people win.
"For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness." --Author unknown
***UPDATE***
Let me just say that the first few comments these amazing ladies have left today have reminded me of all of the goodness that is still out there. Thank goodness for NICE people!!! Those are the people who truly deserve the recognition! :)
I'm sorry that the mean people are coming out in droves this week! Don't let them win!
ReplyDeleteAw :( I'm sorry about the mean people! Sometimes I too feel they just come out of the wood works... It seems as though sometimes you can't catch a break of the meanness in this world. The above commenter is right tho!... Don't let them win :) By the way... I think it is extremely healthy to pour your heart out once in a while!
ReplyDeleteI think they are just a lot of "broken" people in this world. They are longing to be whole, but they don't know how, so they just pass that hurt and pain on to others they view as "complete." They see your smile, your kindness, but instead of lifting them...it kills them inside. They don't know how to be like that. So they hate you. They bring you down to their level instead. IF...you let them.
ReplyDeleteYou see, there's kind of a compliment in there; thinly veiled. We hate what we don't understand, can't have, fear. You represent all that goodness and light that they just can't seem to reach out and hold onto. So, they'll take it from you.....IF you let them.
And the worse thing is, they continue on their un-merry way, often oblivious...bet they aren't pouring out their heart somewhere. No, the guilty always sleep the best. While the best of this world toss and turn, their minds ajumble, why, why, why? They don't wonder why. How did they get all the power?
We let them -- they take tiny pieces of us along everytime we let them in.
But not you....you are speaking out! You are choosing to remain YOU! Because how they can change you, is the worst of their offences. So bravo for not allowing that to happen!
haha! I was going to say the same thing as Lisa!
ReplyDeleteI fall into letting people own my emotions now and then, but most of the time I can let their crappy attitudes and lack of a soul roll of my back. I figure they'll never change so I have to, and no one deserves the power to ruin my day, especially those not worth my time to begin with.
hope your week gets better!
Mean people suck! Working with the public I am privy to all manners of mean and at times it is tough! I try to follow the golden rule and when that doesn't work I walk away. If I cannot walk away I simply do not engage and am uber, uber polite. Kill 'em with kindness!
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